Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bitter sweet friendships

I always thought that friendships were built on the "good times." Sure those are an ingredient for maintaining a relationship but they are not strong enough to build from. Some of my best friendships have collapsed under the pressure of a "hard time" and never recovered. Then on the other hand, some of my most difficult relationships to deal with from the start have become some of the most treasured to me still to this day. So based on my experience I would have to say that friendships tend to withstand the test of time best when they are built upon our weaknesses and not by our strength. As Anne Lamott puts it in her book Plan B, "Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built." I learned that through my friendships with my mom, my husband, my small group in TN, my family-both by blood and by marriage, people from The Church, etc. Looking at the areas throughout my journey and marking where friendships started to bloom the deepest and strongest for me, I can't help but notice how vulnerable and painful and hard those starting places were. Yet the benefits of having walked through those valleys together far outweigh the cost of the struggle. To have tasted the biterness of life together/because of each other helps us appreciate and value the sweetness of "good times."

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