Monday, May 15, 2006

True intentions

I heard a message this weekend that touched on the intentions of Satan. "First Satan wants to kill," the pastor said, "but if he isnt succesful at that he will try to destroy." Continuing on the pastor stated, "But if he cant destroy, he will start to rob us." I started to wonder what Satan would try to rob us of when the pastor chimed in with, "He will try to rob us of our joy, or peace, basically The Fruits of the Spirit." Something in my heart clicked with that truth.

"You know, Ive never really been at peace, if Im honest," confessed John Burke, the author of No Perfect People Allowed that I just happend to come across while reading this morning. "I want to be able to relax and spend time with them (his wife and family), but I feel guilty for just enjoying life with them. For some reason I always have to be accomplishing something tangible or I get anxious." Man oh man did that one hit me in the gut with full force. That is where I am at right now. I have mentioned several times that this whole "stay at home mom" thing has been hard for me. I have even used the exact same phrase when explaining to other people of my desire to go back to work so that I could "accomplish something tangible."

How sad it makes me feel now to realize that this could possibly be Satan's attempt at robbing me of peace and love and the enjoyment of my life. I might be able to accomplish a lot but am I willing to do that at the risk of destroying my family and God's work in me in the process?

I guess I will need to take a step back and look at all of this a little differently. Maybe God is trying to guide me into other forms of ministry outside of my family. If so, it will not be at the cost of anything he has used to bless me (ie my family). But I have to make sure that its not Satan's attempt at robbing me of something more valuable than any "tangible accomplishment" has to offer.

To my knees I go...

No comments:

Locations of visitors to this page