Thursday, July 13, 2006

Present State

I was trying to assess my state of being today and I couldn't quite wrap my words around it until I was mindlessly looking at this picture I took. It's of a water drop hanging from the light outside our door after a summer rain.

Most water drops only hang for a split second before they are propelled to the ground due to the weight and force of more water entering its space wanting movement. But this one just hung there. Endlessly. I stood there and watched for probably 10 minutes, waiting no... wanting it to move, to make progress but it just sat there dangling. I dont know how long it remained but I eventually moved on and stopped caring because I prefer action to being stagnant.

This drop represents how I feel life is for me right now. I am just hanging there, not active, no progress, just hanging. There is no energy forcing me forward and there is nothing trying to enter my space and cause movement. So here I am, dangling. After a while people probably stop watching because Im not going anywhere. I offer no action, no comedy, just boredom. I would love to be active and make landfall or enter into another form of being but that just isnt in the cards Im holding right now. So off I go to dangle some more.

2 comments:

roxann said...

I hope this is just a feeling of the moment and not your lot in life right now......

ps as always GREAT writing!!!

Shelia said...

Bethany, There is a lot to be said for just being. I also prefer...I don't know if prefer is actually the right word...I feel compelled to do. But I wish I was better at being. Saw Rob Bell Monday night. He talked about how God was all about seasons and sabbaths and deliberate times of rest. That he created us as human BEings, not human DOings. So...attempt to embrace this time. Listen for what God may be wanting to say to you.
Love you, and really miss you guys.

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