Monday, November 13, 2006

I love these things

Every year I get an email from someone containing the results of the Washington Post's contest where readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Here are the winners from this year:

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight youhave gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flatstomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which youabsentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you upafter you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumedby a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversationwith Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxershorts.

1 comment:

DAD said...


One of my favorites is "coopetition"
It is a NASCAR word for cooperative competition between drivers.
TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????


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