Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Back home

Well we made it back safe and sound around 9pm EST last night. I was going to post a slide show of our NY pics but they are all on Nathan's work laptop so you will have to wait until later for a sighting of all of those. Upon my return I have a butt load of emails to tackle, some photo shoot stuff to catch up on, food-need to get food at the grocery store or my family will starve, and then some. Before becoming consumed by all that I thought I would write a little journal entry of my "return from NYC attitude" before I forget it or get distracted from it.

I feel ambitious. My time away allowed me to breath and think and experience life without my daily distractions. Being allowed to do all of those things has brought me to a very hopeful, anticipating place in my heart. I have a new passion for serving my family, my church and friends. I have a refreshed gratefulness for this stage of life I am in. The question has changed from "why am I here?" to "what am I going to do/achieve while I am here?" It's very exciting.

I tell you all of this because if I keep it to myself it will be much easier to slip into my frustration and go back to how things were and that would be sad to me. Even today when I was starting to get down about Jaxon not being the little angel I always imagine him as, I started making up a stupid song and singing my way toward a deeper sense of patience. I know I sound crazy but I am willing if that is what it takes to maintain this sense of purpose.

Also while I was away, I got to enjoy my man. We live as passing ships most of the time and it's not that I have forgotten how rad he is but I got to relish in it this past week. He is so good looking and with every glimpse I would catch I would ask myself, "How in the world did I snag this hottie?" Normally I am a control freak but this past week I sat back and let Nathan steer our day and direction and it was nice to just "be" with him. He gets so excited about the littlest things and it reminds me to have fun and live in constant awe. How lucky I am that after almost 5 years, and having hit almost every snag you can in a marriage, I am so in love. I haven't forgotten that or anything I just finally got to enjoy it. It felt amazing! I am blessed indeed!

So in summary, I am in a good place. I pray it lasts longer than most hilltops but even more so I pray that I will take more opportunities to rise above the monotony of my day and take a higher view of my life- even if just to be reminded of the potential.

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