Thursday, November 06, 2008

Am I up for this?

Lately I have been really questioning whether or not I should be attempting this side job in photography. I enjoy it but I feel so uneducated. When I fell in love with taking pictures it was in high school and college when I developed my own film. Remember that word? Film. I loved the entire process of creating a picture. But now a days everything is digital. While the clarity is amazing and the process faster, I don't know how to do it well. So much of photography has gone from having an "eye" for it to having the right software and computer skills to edit it into something creative. That is where I am ignorant and that is where most of my customers expectations are. They don't care as much about the angles and lighting, they care about the stray hair or the object in the background being removed. I feel like they miss the art of it all. And because they miss it, I miss it. I miss taking pictures of something just because it has texture and grit and looks raw. I miss taking pictures of randomness and irony and oxymoron's. I miss making statements with my pictures. I miss having time just to wander and capture the things that most people would overlook.

So I'm not sure where to go from here. I'll tell you what I would like to do. I would like to take a digital photography class. That way I can learn how to use my camera better and get a lot of practice. Reading the manual has not helped me at all. I need experience not just words on a page. Then I would like to sit down with an Mac genius and have them teach me about Aperture (my photo editing software) and how my laptop can best assist me in my photography business. Then I would know all the differences in terms like JPG, TIFF, opacity and DPI. I just feel so out of my league.

But as I'm writing this I am realizing, when have I ever felt capable of anything? How many times have I talked myself down from going to great places because I don't feel able or qualified? Too many, honestly. So I can't give up. I just need to strategize. I need to come up with a way to do the things I mentioned in the last paragraph. That way I can not only do the less artistic photos that help our budget not feel so tight but also do the stuff I love that is more abstract and therapeutic.

Thanks for putting up with my ranting.

6 comments:

Brian and Cherie Landowski said...

Did you know the Apple store in Waterside gives free one-on-one training? They should be able to help you with that program.

Don't give up. You are so talented!

bonnie said...

You do have an eye for photography.
Sometimes when we feel we have mastered something, a change is made things better. It is important to keep up with change, even if we feel overwhelmed at times. Technical terms can do that to a person. Take one step at a time and have faith.
Check the photo stores and community colleges. The store where your camera came from may offer free classes.

Blake Crawford said...

B:

Anything I/we can do to help, we will do. I can understand your frustration with people wanting things that seem to shortcut reality. It's the American way! But don't let that discourage you from pursuing your passion for capturing things on film that others cannot see. Just look at it like God is challenging you to release your talent and gift in ways you're unaccustomed. And, to realize that your end goal is to bring glory to Him, and sometimes that requires us to lose ourselves in the process. It's a scary place to be, but maybe that's where God is stretching you. To look past your immediate desires to meet the desires of others. I am in a similar struggle where I am being required to make reaching someone more important than getting my point across. I don't know if that makes any sense, but just keep pursuing your passion as long as it's a passion and not a chore.

Amanda said...

Well, if it makes you feel any better, you've entered my dreams!

I had a dream that you and Nathan took me to a paper plate factory for my birthday.

Ha!

Tyler said...

Once you get a simple explanation/understanding of Aperture it will be so much easier and truly enhances your organizing and color correction. The biggest difference in the film and digital world is with film a lot of the magic happens before the shot and digital it's after. Maybe you could still do some film shots?

Art Teacher said...

Ummm, I just linked to your blog form Erin H's, seriously I'm not stalking I'm just wasting time when I should be cleaning or something.
Anywho, I saw your work at The Evening Of Arts last spring and you do have an artistic eye...I seem to remember a photo with a cat and window, and something with a lot of baby skin which I'm really into these days! Stick with your talent, especially if it is something you are enjoying doing. All that technical stuff is important to know I suppose, but it takes creativity to really capture a beautiful moment and not have to touch it up...if I remember correctly you did that with your work!

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